Broadcast

V1: So… How’s the weather over there.

V2: Really?

v1: I’m curious!

V2: Really.

V1: Like over here it’s starting to drizzle a little bit-

V2: Stop.

V1: And over there, maybe it’s, I dunno-

V2: No!

v1: Maybe its more rainy? Or less? No, that doesn't make sense...

v2: We’re three blocks away! Why would the weather over here, be any different than it is over there?

[Silence]

v1: Microclimates.

v2: Microclimates?!

v1: I mean after the flash, anything is possible-

v2: Of all the weird fucked up shit you’ve seen after the flash, you really think that microclimates would be affecting us?!

V1: Actually, yeah, I might! And you know what, the only way we have any chance of figuring out what the fuck the flash was is if we work together! And that means eliminating a couple of ideas, even if they’re a little silly! So tell me, what’s the weather like over there?!

[Silence]

V2: … It’s actually pretty dry over here. A little foggy, but yeah... There’s no rain.

V1: Are you kidding me?!?! What the fuck man!

V2: Listen, there’s a lot of reasons why it might be- what’d you say? Drizzling? Over there, and not over here? Maybe you’re under a leaky water tower!

V1: A leaky water tower? What the fuck is this, Gotham?! Get outta here with that shit.

V2: I'm just saying, not everything has to be some flash related weirdness.

V1: Is that right? Then name one normal thing that's happened since the flash!

v2: Easy.

V1: Oh it's easy is it? Go on. I'm waiting.

V2: Okay Cola tastes the same.

V1: Dude.

V2: What?! You asked!

v1: It does not taste the same.

v2: What do you mean? They air drop it in. It's not brewed with the messed up water we have here.

v1: Maybe it's that.

v2: What?

V1: Something about how it's delivered- I dunno. It doesn't taste the same.

V2: Brother, you are bubbling the bowl.

V1: It tastes totally different - I think they've changed the formula since we've been in here.

V2: I'm sorry- You think one of the biggest soda manufacturers on the planet changed the formula to what? Fuck with us?

V1: No! [Beat] I'm sure there's other reasons. Like maybe the economy is in shambles, or sugarcane prices have skyrocketed, so they changed the formula. Or maybe... Maybe...

V2: Oh brother. Here we go again.

V1: Maybe they're giving us the bad batches.

V2: What are you talking about?

V1: I had this friend, Raymond. He used to work in a bottling facility. And he told me that sometimes, they make a bad batch. Not enough syrup, or the wrong ratio of flavors. Sometime the machines get jammed up, or whatever. And instead of throwing away the bottles, they set them aside.

V2: ... And deliver them to humanitarian crises?

v1: Well why not? I mean what are we going to do? Hop online and talk about the bad flavors? And if we did, who would believe us? I mean you're here, guzzling down bad batches by the bottle, and you won't even admit the taste is different!

V2: Shut up. I'm going to settle this here and now. I have a bottle, came in an airdrop a couple days ago. Unopened.

V1: I'm warning you now...

V2: Shut. Up. I'm taking a drink now.

A long pause.

V1: Well?

Another pause.

V1: You're killing me, man.

The longest pause.

V2: Fuck.

V1: [Cackling] Ahahahahahah! It does taste different, doesn't it?!

V2: Maybe I got a bad bottle! Maybe this one is flat! Michael got a bottle. I'm gonna try his. [Away from mic] Yes. For real. Dude! Just hand it over!

V1: [Cackling continues] I fucking told youuuu! You didn't believe me!

V2: [Away from mic] What the fuck?! Taste this, Michael! It's wrong! No, I didn't fuck with it, you watched me open it! Just take a fucking sip- I swear to god I'll force feed it to you! See?!

V1: The flash out here fucking everything up!

V2: I'm never talking to you again. How'd you ruin fucking soda?!

V1: It's just different now! Look, when we get out of here, I bet we'll be craving these bad batches. We'll have to water every bottle down with seltzer.

V2: God fucking damn it!!!